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On September 28th, the devil, my
brother, was born. He is almost twenty years old now, but he still
acts like he is twelve. He has hideous tattoos all down his arms, and
just the other day, my brother shaved his beautiful blond hair off,
because his idiotic friends dared him to. I do not often claim this
maniac of a brother. When I am taking a warm, steamy shower, my
brother comes in and dumps ice cold water on my head, making me scream
bloody murder, and he just thinks that it is the funniest thing ever.
Also, to wake me up in the mornings, he gets his stinky gym socks,
which he has not washed in months, maybe years, and puts them in y
face. I do not see what he gets out of this. I keep telling him that
I have an alarm clock to wake me up, but he just does not listen.
My brother's girlfriend, Amanda,
is absolutely the prettiest and sweetest person that I know. She has
long wavy blond hair and baby blue eyes. What is she thinking dating
my brother? If she thinks that obnoxious, pot-bellied, bald guys are
cute, then my brother is her man.
If he is not bad enough already,
the other day, my brother brought home an ostrich. Yeah, that's
right. A feathery, stinky, seven foot tall ostrich, that he calls a
bird. He keeps this bird, Chucky, in our backyard, and every morning,
Chucky will wake me up with the sound of something breaking, and then
he squeals as if the thing just jumped under his feet and he happened
to step on it. The other day my brother saddled up Chucky and rode
him down our street. Do you know what this could do to my
reputation? I will be known as the "ostrich girl" for all of my life.
All of my friends have cute little dogs, cats, and even hamsters, but
I get stuck with Godzilla, the bird, and pot-bellied Joe as a brother.
Life is just not fair.
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